„Sie war immer genug“: Emmy Rossum über die Erziehung durch eine alleinerziehend

Emmy Rossum has a message for all the single moms out there: you are enough. The Shameless actress recently penned a brutally honest Facebook post about what it’s like being raised by a single mom, and why all single parents should never doubt themselves.

“I had a single mom. I have a single mom. This isn’t a secret,” she writes. “Growing up in a school — and a world — filled with mostly two parent units was difficult for me. Father’s Day still is difficult for me. I’m not really sure how to celebrate. In the weeks leading up to it, I sense it coming like a wave approaching. Sometimes I try to ignore it — but the ads in the paper or online banner ads for ‘Macy’s Fathers Day Cologne Sale!’ and restaurants selling “Father’s Day Brunch Mimosas!” Das kann ziemlich schwierig werden.“

Familien gibt es in allen Formen und Gestalten. Manche Familien haben zwei Mütter, zwei Väter oder Eltern, die sich nicht über die binäre Geschlechterstruktur definieren. Manchmal gibt es aufgrund eines Todesfalls oder anderer Umstände nur einen Elternteil. Jedes vierte Kind in den Vereinigten Staaten wird von einem alleinerziehenden Elternteil großgezogen. Dennoch gibt es in unserer Kultur immer noch einen übermäßigen Fokus auf Feiern, die diejenigen ausschließen, die keine Familie mit zwei Elternteilen (Männer/Frau) haben. Mothers’ Day, Fathers’ Day, Daddy Daughter dances or Muffins with Mommy school events aren’t inclusive of everyone.

As Rossum points out, being left out can hurt. „Einige dieser Traditionen sind für diejenigen von uns, die sie nicht haben, wirklich hart“, sagt sie. “Even today, the idea of no father/daughter dance at my wedding. No father to walk me down the aisle. All of these “traditions” are painful reminders that inadvertently re-injure us, causing a feeling of loss, jealously (of others who have what I didn’t), anger and confusion. Usually leading to us feel somehow inadequate.”

There’s an unofficial club for kids raised by single parents, and Rossum says having the support of others Wer kann ihre Situation nachvollziehen, bedeutete alles, als sie aufwuchs. “But if there’s any upside to this widespread loss — it is knowing that there are more kids that are LIKE YOU. And LIKE ME,” she reflects. “See, when I was growing up, having 1 parent often felt very unique. There were only one or two other kids in my entire school who had a similar situation. Who knew what that was like. And mostly it was kids who had lost a parent to death, not just a parent who didn’t want to stick around. But still it tied us together, a friendship built on a strong, invisible bond that no one else could really understand.”

In spite of feeling left out by mainstream celebrations, Rossum stresses what single parents Sie müssen vor allem wissen, dass Sie das alles haben und dass Sie allein für Ihre Kinder ausreichen. Tatsächlich sagt Rossum, dass sie ihre Mutter manchmal am Vatertag mitnimmt, um die Doppelrollen zu würdigen, die sie in ihrer Kindheit ausgefüllt hat. “She really was both a mother and a father for me. I don’t like her to know that it still causes me pain — 30 years later — lest she feel somehow that she wasn’t enough. She was always enough. She is enough. She wasn’t perfect, no one is, but for me she was the best mom ever.”